In The Beginning…

Ok ok ok… So I haven’t called or written in months, and maybe there have been other blogs, but they mean nothing to me I swear, your the true blog of my life baby, honest.

Recently I was contacted by a lovely young lady who, among other things, was interested in the story of my nickname.  She herself is quite the accomplished blogist, and was engaged in a 30 day challenge to write about that  mysterious antler-clad beast of the northern wilds. In her search for the details on how to wrangle a moose she stumbled upon my facebook page. Now being the awesome, generous, pretty creature that  I am, I told her of how the Moose came to Wrangle. The story in all of its glory can be found here. Check it out, its quite the read.

This trip down the river of nostalgia got me to thinking. Perhaps I should chronicle my life. Why not right? I mean you all love me dearly, and knowing how this perfect specimen of man came to be so awesome would bring us closer together. So therefore I will now regale you with the epic tale that is my life.

 

The Moose Wrangler Chronicles – Part 1 The Early Years.

It was 1984, the 13th of February, Culture Club was dominating the Billboard charts with their opus ‘Karma Chameleon’. Konstantin Chernenko was chosen to be general secretary of the Soviet Communist Party’s Central Committee, succeeding the late Yuri Andropov.  6 year old Texan Stormie Jones gets the 1st heart & liver transplant. Andre Stander, South African police captain and bank robber, dies. ‘Footloose’ was about to break the shackles of a button down society with the power of dance. And in Camden Hospital,  in the wee hours of the morning something awesome was happening, that’s right, an 8 pound 7 ounce, 21 inch long, Moose Wrangler was born.

Being the procrastinator that I am, I had decided to wait around for 2 weeks after my initial due date, I mean it was comfortable in there and I wasn’t in any rush. But eventually the outside world’s call was too great, and I graced this world with my presence, bright eyed, bushy tailed and ready for what the world had to throw at me.

What the world had decided to fling my way first was Neonatal Jaundice. A condition where the bodies bilirubin levels are too high, producing a yellowish colour to the skin. It commonly effects upwards of 70% of newborn babies, and it would seem that early on in my life I wasn’t one to shy away from the crowd, so for several days I was subjected to phototherapy to help with my new found affliction. Phototherapy works through a process of isomerization that changes trans-bilirubin into the water-soluble cis-bilirubin isomer. In other words I was placed under a blue light and it made my skin all better. Ever the trend setter, throughout the treatment I wore big dark sun glasses to protect my fragile new born eyes, which I believe, subconsciously,  was the catalyst for my love of that perfect facial accessory, the Aviator Sunglasses. But more on that later

Fresh from the hospital, I was whisked to the western suburb of Sydney know simply as ‘Campbelltown’, to a charming little 3 bedroom house, with fibro walls and a faux-brick outer shell, nestled in a quiet little thoroughfare named ‘Bland st’. And for the first 9 years of my life, that was home.

Now the first few years of my existence are a little hazy,  what with that sponge we called a mind being bombarded with new and wonderful experiences, So I’m going to leave the story here for the time being. But never fear, because when I return I will spin you a tale of wonder from my childhood the likes of which you have never seen.

 

Ahh 2011, you have come to us so fast it seems, and I for one am thrilled that you are here. As you are probably aware (well you would be if you have read the other posts on this blog) 2010 was a pretty shocking year for me. Possibly one of the worst on record. The worst part of it by far was loosing my grandfather, having never had a death in my immediate family I was pretty shaken up about it. But this year I intend to get off my lazy ass and forge ahead both personally and proffesionally, so look out world, the Moose Wrangler is coming to get you.

Alright my lovelies the time comes where I must say au revoir, But don’t be sad for I have many a key to type and will be back in a couple of days to throw words at you.

As Always

Much Love

Moose Wrangler

The Wrangler Strikes Back

Ok don’t panic.

Its alright my dears, I have returned to you.

I know it has been some time since you have had the pleasure of reading my hopes and dreams sprawled across your computer/iPhones screen, and for that I am truly sorry. But gosh, give me a break I’ve been a busy little beaver.  TAFE has been nice and hectic, I’ve been finishing and starting projects in my “time off”, plus being the awesome and pretty creature that I am takes its toll as well. And for the foreseeable future this trend of time occupation doesn’t look as though it will be letting up. (Which by the way I am quite happy about). So I apologize to you right now if my rantings are a little less frequent, I do still love you, but sometimes space is good for a relationship.

Last week I discovered that I have a new talent. The ability to spent five thousand dollars in less than 20 minutes. This realization came to me while purchasing my new camera and related accessories. One minute my bank account was as full as it has ever been, and after a flurry of mouse clicks and hot keyboard action, it was emptier than a politician’s promises.

Speaking of Haircuts, I think its time for a trim. It’s been over 3 years since I’ve had a real haircut, and well, as heavenly as my locks are, they are starting to become damaged and unruly. Now I would be lying if I told you I wasn’t slightly worried that when my lush curls are sheered from my roguishly handsome head, that I would have a “Samson Moment”, and lose all of my great powers. But really, as long as my hairdresser is not named Delilah, I think I should be in the clear.

As I was walking from the bus stop to TAFE this morning my gaze was drawn over to the front entrance of Newcastle Panthers, (The winner of 2010s Clubs NSW Award for Excellence), and what I saw there made me both sad and amused at the same time. upwards of fifty pension aged individuals surrounding the entrance waiting to be unleashed upon the spinning excitement that is the poker machine lounge. now I’m not one to interfere in peoples lives, or tell them what they are doing is wrong (I myself wait for the day when I can spend my children’s inheritance in such a frivolous manner), But come on people, it’s ten in the morning, (yes i was late for TAFE, my alarm and I had a disagreement about when I should wake, what of it?), there has to be something else you could be doing with your morning.

And with that My Lovelies, I must away, and continue my many exciting adventures into the previously unknown. Don’t worry I won’t be gone for as long this time I promise you. I still have a lot of pent up ramblings to spew forth, but right now my elegant fingers need a break. But before you can say “Oh… It’s over already? I was just getting into that” I’ll be back to whisk you away into another exciting adventure of your favorite Moose Wrangler.

As always

Much Love

Moose Wrangler

The Best Laid Plans Of Mice And Men

Standing on the precipice, staring out at the great abyss. You can only view if for so long before in engulfs you.

… Right well let me clarify that statement if i will. My life this passed year has been a juxtaposing tour de force. I have been split in twain with emotions. On one hand, I have enjoyed quite a lot of opportunity and am successfully thrusting my professional life to the next level. While on the other hand, in my personal life, I just can’t seem to cut a break.  And there you have the reason for all that engulfment talk. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying “oh woe is me!!” as I cast myself of into that pitch black maw, not in the slightest. I’m using the ‘Great Abyss’ as a metaphor for my future, because as we all know, we can’t see or predict the way life is going to turn out (not even Yoda, the highest of the Jedi order, could see that Anakin Skywalker would become the one and only Darth Vader “clouded this boys future is”… hmm may have just exposed my nerd bone a bit too much there). And I have come to the decision of finally letting go and stop worrying about what life could have been and could yet become. So I fall blindly into the face of the future screaming “ALRIGHT BITCH!! GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT!!!”

Right well enough of all that deep and meaningful m’larky, time to get my ramble on.

So I’ve noticed that pretension has become the new black in the social scene. Honestly you can’t go anywhere now a days without people insisting on themselves. Ok, sure there is nothing wrong with having a high opinion of yourself, but there has to be a point where the smell of crawling up your own ass becomes overpowering, right? Not to mention the fact that it would be hard for people to understand your profound Bourgeois statements when they are being muffled by your small intestines.

Well it seems I have run out of things to type about for now. But never fear my dears, for I shall be back soon to regale you with another journey into my squishy cerebral cortex soon.

Much Love

Moose Wrangler

Oh I almost Forgot. Want to give a shout out to leftover pizza. You are a shining beacon of delicious hope in an otherwise starved existence.

Peace

M W

The Sounds of Silence

Seasons change, time passes by, as the weeks become the months become the years.

I have noticed that getting older makes time pass quicker. Sure 26 isn’t exactly ancient, but compared to 10 years ago when I was an angst filled teenage and it took forever for the school week to end,  it seems that if I turn around too quickly i might have missed July. I’m not exactly sure what brings on this steady acceleration of of time. Perhaps it is early onset dementia, where time is still traveling at the same rate but I can’t remember things that have occurred thus producing a sense of speed.

With so many things in constant flux I enjoy the fact that some things will never change. My love of music, the rise and fall of tides (provided the moon doesn’t decide to take a well earned holiday), and the ever present fear of clowns, or coulrophobia as it is technically known, which effects 1 in 7 people.

Ah yes, music. honestly i don’t know how life would be without some tasty tunes to see me through. I honestly have not gone one day without music. It is the greatest friend I have even known. Always there for you what ever your mood. A song can comfort you when your feeling down, energize you when your lethargic, provide motivation, stimulate memories, make you smile or cry with but one change of key. It can even get you in the mood, if you know what i mean (wink wink). Nothing else has such a profound effect on my life. Even now, as my fingers sweep majestically across the keyboard forming these very sentences, I am listening to some great compositions. It is one constant in an ever shifting reality.

And speaking of shifting realities. It is time for my reality to shift towards the kitchen and forage for sustenance.

Stay tuned for the next installment of The Musings of a Moose Wrangler. It’s sure to be a great read.

As always, Much Love

Moose Wrangler



… And another thing

And so we meet again.

I’m taking a brief break from my assignments to let out some junk. Nothing specific, or for that matter profound, just whatever my fingers feel like typing.

walking home today i came to two conclusions. the first being “shit that wind is cold, i should have worn pants”. And the second was “walking to the beat makes the trip easier”.

As I said, this wont be a world changing blog entry. And i think that’s fine and dandy, because if you where  reading my blog to find out the great questions of the universe, or to be so inspired that you leap up and exclaim to the heavens “I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT!! PRAISE BE TO THE WRANGLER OF MOOSE” then I’m sorry to say your out of luck.

Oh speaking of Short Films, I’m about to start production on mine (holds for gasps and applause). Its been a long time coming let me tell you, and i think its going to be quite good. I’ll keep you updated on its progress over the next few weeks.

Oh well i guess i should get back to my assignments. So i shall leave you with these words of wisdom

Wisdom; understanding, learning, knowledge, intelligence, judgment, insight, enlightenment, erudition. (thanks Collins Australian Pocket Thesaurus).

Much love

Moose Wrangler

Act 1

So I’ve decided to start writing my brains ramblings down again. I’m feeling very creative at the moment and i think that if i don’t put the swirly mess of thoughts that distracts me down on virtual paper i may just go sane. And no one wants that now do they?

Now I know what your thinking.”Why the hell would I care about the demented scratchings of a mad man?” And that dear reader is a good question, thank you for asking it. The reason you should care is simple. and when i figure it out I’ll let you know.

But enough of this posturing and down to business.

Hmmm… This is always the hardest part i think. I always have trouble starting something. Be it Work, TAFE assignments,  getting up in the morning. I always end up leaving it to the last minute and then have a flurry of stressful excitement  seconds before I’m required to deliver. I think I’ve taken the act of procrastination to a higher plane. I am a Zen master of dicking about. This is something that i know i should stop… But fuck it i can stop later, there are shiny things over there that require my attention

… Now where was I? Oh! That’s right I was trying to come up with things to write about… any suggestions?

As I said earlier in this post, I’m feeling very creative. But to be honest that’s quite an understatement. I have so many ideas in my giant head that I’m finding it hard to keep track. not to mention all the shit that I already have to do. Assessments, music video productions, editing wedding videos and so on and so forth. But i want to do more!

We where sitting in class the other day (Oh point of clarification I’m studying film at TAFE, with grand dreams of becoming an awesome director) and we where watching a documentary on light. and it was an experience that brought back into mind my love for simple yet stark lighting, and my great love for both Noir  and Asian Horror. My brain switched on, having been in stasis for a number of months due to extreme bitch slapping in the emotions department. And ever since then I have been in a state of perpetual thinking. to the point that I’m losing the little sleep I get bouncing ideas around in my head.

Alas It is now time for me to sign off.  Got to get ready and go out to celebrate International Lolita Day with a friend.

I shall talk at you later

Much Love

The Moose Wrangler